Post subject: Re: What the F* do I say to this
Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:28 am
Location: watchin the wheels go round and round
Oh man, Jake. I've typed this and erased it a few times so I'm just going to go with the straight from the hip approach.
I've been in a similar place, where you've given all you are to someone, opened your heart and let yourself dream of tomorrows filled with this person only to have them realize they dont have the same vision. It's heartbreaking and unbelieveably painful but it IS FOR THE BEST.
God forbid you would have flown all the way out there and had her come to this realization! What would you have done then? The bottom line is she wasn't where you needed her to be because she's not READY to be there. Neither was the girl that did it to me. The funny thing is that after all her "you're not who I see myself with" bullshit, she ended up trying to get back with me. She had a time out there and saw first had that comfortable isnt settling and just because I didnt fit into the cookie-cutter idea of what she wanted didn't mean I wasn't what she NEEDED. But it was too late then.
Jake, you're a good looking guy, you're funny, you're not arrogant or overly spendy, you're a good man and I can honestly say that you're GOING to be married to someone that appreciates those things but that wont happen soon. You've got some stuff to do first.
After Kirstin ripped my soul out I looked at all the things she told me I lacked and asked myself honestly if she was right. On certain points she was and those were things I set about rectifying. I got a better job with steady income, enough to support two people easily. I focused on myself, and dealing with certain insecurities and as I did that I grew happy with my life just as it was and right when I didnt want to be with anyone else and made peace with being alone, I met Jen, lol.
Jake use this as a life lesson and do the things you want to do. Take her criticisms as critiques and do a little soul searching - is she right? After your injuries and time off work I know you're tight on cash, take time to get caught up, get healthy, build a life that's so full and fabulous you dont have ROOM for a chick cause thats when you'll fall right into her. I can damn near guarantee that. Maybe look for another job in a different town, or embark on your own business you handy little monkey you... make yourself some serious cash, buy a house and get out of those apartments... take a trip back to Poland (hell, you'll probably find yourself a GOOD wife there!!! And HOT to boot, lol!!)... just LIVE....
She did you a favor Jake, the biggest one another person can do for you, she let you go rather than make a mistake that could have ruined both your lives. A weaker person might not have had the balls to say what she said and just left well enough alone... what then? Marriage? Kids? And then one day she wakes up and just can't do it anymore.... what do you do with the house, the cars, the bills, the furniture, the friends... the life you've built together that shouldnt have been built... whaddya do Jake? I know its hard but you have to see that this played out the best way possible. Better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones.
I feel for ya buddy, I really do. I'm here if you need me...
OLD GUYS RULE!
I have flying monkees and I'm NOT afraid to use them!
Be BOLD enough to imagine. Be BRAVE enough to believe.